100 Ways to Annoy Voldemort
by electracait
Summary: 100 Ways to Annoy Voldemort! Sorry of OOCs with Voldemort and other DeathEaters. Story set during Harry's sixth year at Hogwarts. Collab story with Fangs96! Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello lovelies! I am back with more stories! This fanfic is a collaboration with Fang96 I'll be writing every odd chapter and she'll be writing the even chapters...okay I'm done rambling; enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: We do not own HP...if we did Voldy would have cut his nails...**

**Warnings: None**

Hello! I guess I should start this from the beginning...My name is Jack Finnelstone and I am a wizard...or well I was...until I got killed. I died when I was 16 years old, in other words I died this morning. I didn't die in this super amazing and exiting way, the way I died is very ironic...I choked on a potato and well now I'm a ghost! I wanted to stay earthbound; I love Earth and I would have missed it too much so I decided not to cross over; however, my ghostly matter got attached to one particular person/thing (honestly that man does not look like a human being) in the process. Basically this is the story of how I cope with being a ghost and having to stay near the one and only Voldemort.

When I first woke up..after I died..I was in this room, well it was more of an attic, dust was everywhere and the room was filled with broken furniture, I didn't know where I was at all. Later on throughout exploring what I discovered was a mansion I found out I was in You-Know-Who's lair...how did I find out? I ran into him, literally.

At first I was terrified, me a skinny 16 year old boy attached to Voldemort? No way I was going to survive! That is until I remembered that I was already dead...and that's when the fun began.

You see when you're a ghost you have the advantage of being unkillable or uncursable and when you're me and you're already a bit insane well now's your chance of going crazy! So without further ado ladies and gentleman here is my guide on how to annoy Voldemort!

Way Number 1: Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'

After weeks of getting used to living with a psychopath and his little minions I finally found a routine; I wake up, annoy Voldy for the day and plan during the night how to annoy him the following day!

Today; however, I found myself missing Hogwarts and everyone in it, especially Harry Potter...no we weren't great friends, he was a year under me, but the guy was pretty nice and amusing and his scar, man what I would I give to have such a cool scar!

Anyways, I was floating along the mansion when I found Ye Old Snake-Face in the study plotting whatever evil plot he could think of. I floated up to him and sat on his desk staring at him.

"What do you want?" He snapped at me.

"Nothing I was just admiring your forehead" I replied; okay so I wasn't admiring his forehead, more like criticizing it. Voldemort seemed highly surprised at this, that's a first.

"Oh? And may I ask why?" He said sarcastically.

I sighed dramatically and replied "Why don't you have a cool scar on your forehead like Harry Potter?"

His non-existent upper lip curled inwards and his hand start inching towards his wand. This man gets mad over nothing! It was an innocent question.

Deciding not to stick around for his temper tantrum I quickly disappeared back to my lair! In other words the attic, I love being a ghost because even though I can't help the big fight against Volders and his death army I can still cause some misery to that snake-man! So in a way I am helping.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: And lets thank the lovely miss Fang96 for writing this chappie!**

**Disclaimer: Guess what?!...We don't own HP**

**Warnings: None**

Way Number 2: Pat him on the head and give him flowers when his plans are foiled yet again.

When I heard the news I knew Voldy was going to be depressed. He doesn't really show it but being undead and all does have its advantages. In this case it's to tell when one of his pans has failed…again. I knew just what would cheer him up or at least take his mind of it. Nothing but a good old pat on the back with some better luck next time flowers! Now I would have to impersonate someone in order to get and hold said flowers. Now who shall I'll take? Random muggle!

I slipped into his mind and gained control quickly. Did I mention I love being a ghost? I mean look at all the cool stuff I can accomplish! I walked towards the nearest flower shop. At the door I crashed; darn it I forgot muggles don't have the ability to go through things. Awkwardly I grabbed the door handle and let myself in.

"How may I help you sir?" The shop owner asked.

"I need flowers for a…friend of mine because they feel sad about something" I replied.

I need to work on my cover stories. But hey I've got plenty of time for that. The shop owner came back with the saddest blue I have ever seen. He was going to love them! I mean they screamed I failed miserably today! Perfect! I grabbed some muggle money and paid for the flowers. I left quickly and happily (running into the door might I add…stupid muggles and their non-ability to go through stuff).

Once I arrived I got rid of the muggle and somehow managed to carry the flowers without dropping them. I was getting good at the ghost stuff. Grinning I waited in a dark corner for Voldy to arrive.

After what seemed hours of waiting he finally appeared. His face had rage written all over it; he sat down with a slump and started to rub his temples. Quietly I crept up to him and patted his head. It was so shinny in this light I could barely see. Nevertheless he turned around and looked at me infuriated. Smiling I gave him the flowers.

"What is this for?" he hissed.

"For today's failure" I said with a huge grin.

His eye twitched not only once but twice. He groaned and buried his face in his hands. Mission accomplished!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This is for a lovely friend who I scared out of eating potatoes!**

**Disclaimer: We still don't own HP or Beach Boys**

**Warnings: None**

Way Number 3: Wake him up by singing Beach Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'

I am bored, extremely bored. You see when you're a ghost there's not much you can do, especially when everyone else is asleep. I kept thinking as to what I could do when it occurred to me! Beach Boys! Don't worry it will all make sense soon enough.

In my two months of being here I never thought that Snake-face slept; much less that he has his own room (I thought he had a little hole in the ground like most snakes do. Anyways I started looking Voldy, poking my head through every wall until I found him! He was sleeping! ...I wish I could take a picture...but nevermind that, time to wake him up by singing!

"Round round get around

I get around

Yeah

Get around round round I get around

I get around

Get around round round I get around

From town to town

Get around round round I get around

Im a real cool head

Get around round round I get around

Im makin real good bread" I sang right into his ear.

You should've seen him! He immediately sat up and grabbed his wand casting who knows what spell in my direction, which ended up passing right through me and exploding his desk.

"What on the bloody Earth was that?!" He snarled, snapping his head at my direction.

"Beach Boys, I get around" I answered in the chirpiest voice I could muster.

He sighed, he rubbed his temples, he placed his wand back down and gave the most infuriated look ever.

"Pray tell why?" He asked in a strained voice.

"I'm bored" I replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Get. Out. Of. MY ROOM" he yelled.

I am no suicidal ghost...okay so maybe I am, but I know my limits and today I decided not to ignore them so as quickly as I could I disappeared back to my attic. He needs anger management classes if you ask me.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hello lovelies, and once again let's thank the lovely Fangs96 for this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: We do not own HP.**

**Warnings: This includes getting someone drunk without their knowledge, we do not condone this even though it's fun... Do it at your own risk...**

Num 4: Get him drunk.

Ever wondered what would happen if Voldy got drunk? Yeah me too. I got a little too curious if you ask me. So let me tell you the tale of getting voldemort drunk. It started one night he was off with his death eaters and I was in his chair. You know thinking of the next possible way to annoy him; when all of a sudden BAM it hit me. What would voldemort be like if he got drunk? An evil grin spread on face. I thought of all the possibilities, because you see you have to be really clever about this. Voldy isn't fooled that easily; then again that's what makes it fun about this. I floated/paced around the room. This would be tricky indeed. I needed something that would mask the alcoholic scent from both him and Nagini. It would have to be something strong to mask the taste too; we don't want Voldy here knowing what's in his drink now do we? I was in deep thought when I realized the perfect drink was right in front of me. A chocolate martini. Yes I know it sounds gross but it's really more of dessert than a drink. But it was perfect you can't taste the alcohol or smell it. I quickly went to work in Bellatrix's private bar. I followed the instructions carefully; one part with crème de cacao then two parts of Stoil vanil. I shook it and poured into a cocoa rimmed cocktail glass. I made two just in case. Did I mention that I might have added a tad bit more alcohol than intended? Whoops oh well.

I grinned at my work when suddenly I heard the door open loudly. Show time, my grinned widen some more. I placed the drink on the table and greeted Voldy. He groaned as he sat down.

"You look tired" I said with a hint of concern (just for drama ya know?)

"Why do you care?" he glared.

I shrugged and placed the drink in front of him. His eyes narrowed suspiciously and motioned Nagini to smell it first.

"Aw Voldy you don't trust me? That hurts" I placed a hand over my non-beating heart.

"No" He deadpanned.

Nagini nodded her head as if to say it was safe and Voldy picked it up slowly; never taking his eyes off of mine.

"Hmm…not bad".

He finished it in a gulp; let me tell you I was dying of laughter from the inside.

"Another" he commanded slightly drunk.

Again he finished it quickly and now he was drunk. He stood up and looked at me and sneered.

"Ah Dumbledore! How nice to...Uh...See you!" He tone was high pitched.

He came towards me then, I started laughing.

"You mock me! How dare you! Adavar kadavar!" He pronounced badly.

I wiped a tear from my face.

"Why don't you die foolish man!" He suddenly tried to grasp me.

I grinned. All of a sudden he ran out of the room laughing hysterically whilst screaming: "I'm coming for you Dumbledore! Alasdhkafhiahf". I couldn't quite grasp what he said at the end but one thing was for sure. I had to get Voldy drunk more often.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: And here is the odd chapter! Like me….what's that? That's not funny? Well then….  
-Electracait**

Disclaimer: We do not own HP, we do; however, own the insanity of this story.

Warnings: None

  
Way Number 5: Give him Kangaroo ears for a month. ****

I was visiting Diagoney Alley, I needed some fresh hair and honestly Voldemort had another temper tantrum and killed many people back at the mansion and Nagini was eating…Now as a ghost I doubt I could vomit but I really don't want to take my chances so away I went! Let me tell you I saw the most wonderful shop! A shop filled with pranks owned by Fred and George, I remember those guys they were amazing; I always wished I could be their friend but it never happened…Anyways I saw this great little powder (inside a bag of course) with a label that said "Kangaroo Ears-a month guaranteed." Now this was my first thought "Voldemort."

The only good thing about Volders being bald is that the Kangaroo ears can't hide in his hair…just saying. I've waited for a long time for Ye Old Snake Face to come back and I ended falling asleep; however, when I woke up he was the one that was asleep! Quietly I sneaked into his room and threw the powder on his head, his eyes snapped open as two furry Kangaroo ears appeared on top of his head.

"What are you doing here?!" He asked when he spotted me.

"…Nothing…" I seriously need to work on my lying.

Volders got up and walked to his dresser that had a mirror, well crap. I could see how he swallowed his scream and I must admit I was feeling quite proud of myself, until he turned around to face me, when he did that I felt like running far, far away.

"I am going to murder you!" He snarled.

"But I'm already d-…" And there goes cutting me off by leaving and slamming the door, well fine then! Yet I was relieved to watch him go, I doubt I could've hold my laughter any longer.****


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Here's the next chapter!  
-Fang96**

**Disclaimer: We do not own HP.**

**Warnings: None.**

Way Number 6: Pinch him. Make sure he squeals.

You know what's the best part about being a ghost? Turning invisible. That's the best part especially when I get to scare, trick or do anything like that to Voldy. Here's what's so great about being invisible. One night after the usual DeathEater meeting, Voldy stayed seated on his "throne" or so he calls it; sighing after a hard meeting of "Let's plot against Potter boy and Dumbledore while trying to conquer the world." Now I didn't always know I could turn invisible but clever me figured it out. I floated behind him (visible) and sat down on top of his throne.

"You know I never really see the point of ruling the world."

He jumped then growled angrily. "Why are YOU here?"

"Oh you know same old same old, I'm bored." I replied

"That's never a good thing" he muttered. I turned invisible when he rubbed his temples.

"Why don't you go bother…" he turned around to see I wasn't there.

Grinning I floated behind him while he stood up slowly. He sighed in relief when I realized. I could pinch him. He can't see me so I can pinch him. My grin widened. Oh he would squeal. Now that I think of it what would Voldy's squeal sound like? A girl? A pig? Hmm. He then pushed his sleeves up reveling the pale white skin. My grin turned into the biggest smile ever. I floated carefully to his side and readied my fingers into a pinching position. Voldy looked around and smiled. Satisfied he relaxed again for he thought I was gone. Oh how wrong he? I placed my fingers onto his skin and squeezed hard; while adding a twist.

Voldy squeal very much like a little girl! I let go and floated myself up to the attic. Trying to cover the laughter I picked up a random book and wait silently for Voldy to burst into the room.

"JACK!" I heard him howl before bursting into the room.

"What did I do now?" I asked innocently.

He went from enraged to stunned in less than a second when he realized I was holding a book.

"What are you doing?" He asked suspiciously.

"Reading unless you want me to bug you?"

He growled and left me alone. When I was sure he was gone I laughed so hard. Voldy squeals like a girl! HA! I must write that down somewhere.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to Lupin fan1!  
-Electracait**

**Disclaimer: We do not own HP**

Warnings: None

Way Number 7: Give him a high-pitched voice in front of his DeathEaters.

So remember the Kangaroo powder I picked up? Well I didn't just pick that. I also got a helium mixable powder; so basically it's like the helium from the balloons that make your voice all squeaky but this one you can mix into a drink so people take it without knowing! So of course I had to pour some into Voldy's drink, right before his DeathEaters meeting, but let's be honest you would have done the same.

I decided to turn invisible so I could watch the whole meeting unseen. And the meeting started, as Volders waited for all the DeathEaters to arrive, he drank his helium water; oh boy was I grinning. Finally the meeting started, show time!

Voldemort stood up, "Alright, my dear-" He grew very quiet when he saw how high pitched his voice was.

"My lord? Are you alright?" Asked Bellatrix, her voice dripping with concern…gross…

Volders nodded, refusing to talk but Bellatrix was determined to hear it from him that he was indeed fine, "Are you sure?" She asked once more.

"I said yes!" Voldy snarled but it was just so hard to see that as intimidating because of the voice! I couldn't hold it in anymore, I burst into laughter.

"JACK FINNELSTONE!" Voldemort yelled, boy did he sound like a furious chipmunk.

"Where's the boy? I'll kill him!" Exclaimed Bellatrix. That statement just made me laugh more; honestly how can they not remember I'm dead?


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Sorry for the delay we're both in exam week which lasts two weeks so until after next week there will be few to no updates sorry!  
-Fangs96**

**Disclaimer: We do not own the epicness**

**Warnings: None**

Num 8: Cuddle him at random moments.

I was hovering above a couch like chair when suddenly I wondered. Does Voldy get hugged often? I bet he doesn't that why he's such a grumpy old man. You know that little light bulb that they show in the cartoons when the character gets an idea? Picture me grinning with one of those light bulbs turning on.

I floated by the rooms until I got to his master bedroom. I peeked inside but he wasn't there.

"Hm…Where could he be?" I quietly mumbled.

I know! He was having lunch with all the other DeathEaters! They were probably discussing on how to take over the world and killing Harry potter. I floated down and turned invisible. Just in time! They were just starting. I floated quietly to Voldys side. Grinning, I suddenly appeared and gave him a BIG bear hug, in front of all the DeathEaters. I disappeared quickly and floated above his face. Who knew that something that pale could turn that red? I mean his face transformed into a mixture of red with purple. Kind of like if a kindergarten kid thought it was a good idea to use his mothers make up to lighten up Voldy face. Voldy took a deep breath in the attempt to calm him down. I think it's time for a second hug. Like my mother used to say: If someone's grumpy give them a hug!

I re-appeared and gave him another heartwarming hug before disappearing again. Voldy's eye twitched and that vein in his head started to pop out.

"Jack, I'm not sure what you're up _this time_ but whatever it is I don't care so LEAVE ME ALONE!" He snarled.

"No can do Voldy" I smiled innocently.

He groaned and put his head between his hands. Looks like it's time for another hug! I floated down and hugged him twice as hard as I did last time. Voldy howled in rage and threatened to kill me.

"Tsk, tsk Voldy I would've thought by now you would have realized I'm a ghost I can't die".

He growled in frustration while some deathEaters tried (and failed) not to smile, laugh or smirk. Voldy turned to them and threaten to kill them if they even thought of laughing. Mr. Grumpy Pants just wasn't getting better so…You guess it. Hug time! I hugged him yet again. This went on for pretty much the whole lunch and the rest of the day and night.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Alright I am so sorry for the delays, first it's exams then I'm restarting my old Avengers story and I'm also a beta for my friend Fangs96, check out her story it has to do with Teen Titans!**

Disclaimer: If I own HP the second book wouldn't have come out yet…. I procrastinate…. a lot.

Warnings: None

Way Number 9: Give Voldemort I makeover.****

I did the unbelievable! I don't even know how I managed it…. but I gave Voldemort a makeover.

"Just trust me!" I half said half whined. The look Voldemort gave me said it all

"No." Came the reply.

"Too bad." I grinned showing him all the makeup I had (well I stole it from Bellatrix but he doesn't have to know that)

"And why should I let you?" He asked

"Well no one would be able to see it and it would make people feel more afraid of you" I told him (I lied but shhh!)

"Very well then" He said after thinking it over for several minutes.

"YES!" I raced over with the makeup ready, he look as if he regretted his decision… too late!

For over an hour I assaulted him with eyeliner, blush, mascara, lipstick, bronzer, foundation, eyeshadow and everything else and finally my masterpiece was done…. If I had a wig then I would have created a male Snooki… who is also taller.

Voldemort walked out the room proudly towards his DeathEaters. I was dying of laughter. The DeathEaters stopped talking and stared at him.

"My Lord…are you wearing my makeup?" Asked Bellatrix.

"JACK" Came the furious yell. I died of laughter.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Enjoy!**

**-Fangs96**

Disclaimer: I do not own HP

**Warnings: Voldemort's fury.**

Way Number 10: Tell him you think his evil master plans of world domination are 'kind of girly'.

After another night of (surprise, surprise) world domination and evil plans, I was beginning to feel kind of bored. I stayed behind after the meeting and I let out a very long, loud and most annoying yawn I could do. Voldy sighed.

"What do you want _**now**_ Jack?" he asked in an annoyed tone.

"Well…no never mind." I said in a bored tone.

"Get on with it, I know you won't leave me alone until you say so." He asked impatiently.

"Alright but don't say I didn't say never mind before" I said grinning.

"Just get on with it." He replied.

"Look as much as I _**love**_your plans, I just think your losing your touch Voldy." I said still grinning.

"What do you mean?" he narrowed his eyes.

"I mean…your evil plans of world domination are starting to get girly." I said simply. "And I don't mean Bellatrix kind of girly, I meant like "I love sunshine and unicorns and pink" kind of girly."

His face went completely red. "What do you mean girly! Making Potter suffer is girly?!"

"Oh come on, let's face it. What would happen if you actually gained power?" I stopped him before he could reply. "Let's think…hm…You would make unicorn into an ice cream, you would paint Hogwarts pink, you'd force everyone to use nothing more than pink and…oh yeah, you undoubtedly want prince charming to declare his love to you."

Voldy was not red anymore; he had turned purple.

"WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I LIKE PINK?!" He yelled.

"Shall I name the items you have?" I started to chuckle.

"No." He snarled

"You have those hidden robes, your mirror, the hidden bed sheets…" I started to count them off laughing.

"ENOUGH!" And with that he walked out, leaving me dying of laughter once more.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Sorry for the delay, had no inspiration whatsoever lately.**

Disclaimer: Not mine!

Warnings: None

Way Number 11: If you ever need to say 'Like taking candy from a baby', be sure to add 'Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others.' Stare pointedly at him.

"This is the plan my fellow DeathEaters: We shall attack during midnight, most of the castle will be asleep so they shall not be expecting it!" Ranted Voldemort. He was planning yet another attack to Hogwarts in yet another pitiful attempt to kill Harry Potter; honestly the man should just give up and get a new, healthier hobby. I couldn't help myself I had to do this "Like taking candy from a baby…Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others." I said as I stared at him. Multiple curses were heard that day.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: You are in for a treat today!  
-Fangs96**

**Disclaimer: Not ours!  
**

**Warnings: None**

Way Number 12: Tell him you know this great therapist in London...

I noticed how Voldy seemed to be getting angry and stressed lately. Ok let's be honest here, when isn't he stress and angry? But now, he seems to be getting worse. Seriously it's almost as if he is a teenage girl about to get a mental break down. Oh, its Voldy we're talking about, so he _**is**_ a teenage girl about to have a mental break down.

Hovering close by I floated next to Voldy. As usual he pretended not to see me. Like that's going to work. I cleared my throat and he groaned.

"What Jack?" he muttered under his breath.

"You know…" I started while placing my hand on my chin in a thoughtful manner.

"No I don't want to know." He replied. I ignored it as usual.

"When I was alive, I used to know this great therapist back in London and he isn't a muggle and…"

"Wait, wait, what? A therapist?! What makes you think I need a therapist?!" He practically yelled.

"You're yelling at a wall, because you seem to forget that right now no one else can see me." I replied cockily.

His eye twitched in anger, but soon realized what I had said. And quite indeed tonight he was the host of one the Christmas balls for the DeathEaters. And right now all eyes were on him, mouth agape as they saw their "fearsome" leader yell at a wall. Did I ever mention that I love turning invisible in these kinds of moments? It was super amusing to see Voldy's facial expressions change within seconds. It starts out in red anger, goes into a blank realization and finally turns into utter embarrassment. Could one ask for more?


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Meeeeep!  
****-Electracait  
**

**Disclaimer: Not ours!**

**Warnings: None**

Way Number 13: "Did you even HAVE a girlfriend? Like, ever?"

"Hey Voldy." He groaned at the sounded sound of my voice.

"Yes Jack?" His voice was strained, knowing how irritating this conversation was going to be.

"Did you even get a girlfriend when you were…well…younger? Or let me rephrase that," I thought for a moment. "Did you _**ever**_ get a girlfriend?"

He mumbled something.

"So did you?" My smile grew.

Who hasn't asked themselves that question? I mean seriously he must have had a girl right? Or was he forever alone? I chuckled at that thought. Finally Voldy answered.

"No, why would I? They would get in the way of me ruling the world and destroying Potter". He replied coldly.

"So, you're a forever alone?" I asked with a slight smirk.

"I'm what?" He asked confused.

"You know forever alone, it's a muggle saying of you'll never find love or something".

"And I should care because?" If he had eye brows he would have raised one.

"Because Voldy, that way if you have people who love you and stuff Potter will have a harder time in defeating you".

"POTTER WILL NEVER DEFEAT ME!" He yelled.

"Not to mention it would appeal to a girly manner don't you agree?" I smirked.

"JACK!" He lunged at me.

Seeing how I'm not solid, Voldy lung right into a wall. I looked at him amused; I am ghost after all and this couldn't get any funnier than it already was.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Last of the treat for today!**

**Disclaimer: Not ours!**

**Warnings: Noooone!**

Way Number 14: Play 'knock-&-run' at his bedchamber door late at night.

One night I got insomnia; but like really bad and I was really bored. So I decided to play a little game, a game that would involve a none too happy Voldy. You can only guess but I'm telling you now whatever you thought I bet that you didn't what I thought. That's right, I thought about…Knock & Run on his bed room door. Well in my game its more Knock and turn invisible. Oh tonight was going to be fun, no more than fun tonight would be the most entertaining , thrilling and adventures night ever!

The first I did he never answer, so the second time I knocked three times. Sheldon from the big bang theory style. I turned invisible; his red eyes tiredly looked around. He wore grey robes, and those things you put to cover your eyes when you sleep. I almost blew my cover by almost laughing. He went back inside I waited for twenty minutes, and then I went Sheldon style again. He came out his room looking angry, I smiled in the dark. This was going to be a very, long night for Voldy. I repeated this at least another six times, each time Voldy came out looking angrier than the last. At one point he randomly started to yell at one the decorations by his door. He was losing his mind, and it was utterly hilarious.

I sat back and decided to see if he had really lost his mind. I waited twenty minutes and exactly when the twenty minutes were up Voldy shoved his doors open and yelled:

"I'VE GOT YOU NOW YOU TWO FACE MONSTROUS TROLL!" He squirted and looked around the dark.

Dawn was close I could tell. He made his way back into his chamber. The next morning he killed a DeathEater for knocking of his door, and he had dark circles under his red eyes. I smirked at this sight of course.

"Morning sleeping beauty, have a good night?" I casually asked.

"No, why on the soul of a dementor would you care?" His eyes sparkled in realization.

I smirked.

"Adavra kadavra!" He yelled the killing curse at the top of his lungs.

The curse passed through my ghostly form killing yet another DeathEater. Voldy let out the loudest frustration yell you have ever heard. Laughing I slid back into the shadows back to my place in the attic.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: I'm Sorry!**

Disclaimer: We do not own HP

Warnings: None

Way Number 90: Mimic everything he does with exaggerated limb-movements.

It was a dark and stormy night, and it was also Death Eater and World Domination Plans night…again. Doesn't Voldy ever get tired of these plans (which never work by the way)? I mean they're so boring there's nothing to do, you can't crack jokes if you're alive…Hold on a second, I keep forgetting I'm already dead, maybe tonight I shall be the first to crack a joke and I know exactly what I want to do.

I floated down until I was behind Voldy, not exactly behind but out of his view. This way I could mimic him in the most ridiculous manner. He started talking about how to destroy Dumbledore, so I started mimicking what he was doing with his hands, expect I did much, much more exaggerated. He would make a small crushing motion and I would copy it at a much larger scale while doing my best "Yes! I have crushed you!" face. Snape was the first to notice; trying his best not to show the slightest grin he slightly looked away. Lucius spotted me next, I grin crept onto his face but he quickly removed it. Voldy noticing the strange behaviors of the two turned around. I turned invisible and tried my oh so hardest not to laugh.

I did that a few more times before one of the Death Eaters couldn't take it anymore, he started to laugh non-stop and before he knew it he was lying dead on the ground. Voldy was red with anger.

"Can someone explain to me why tonight everything seems to be a joke?!" He asked as he blew steam from his nostrils.

Snape opened his mouth before closing it quickly, wise man. So in order to avoid more dead people (I mean sheesh does this guy kill another man per day or something?) I appeared in front of Voldy with a massive grin.

"Hello Governor" I said in an exaggerated British accent.

Voldy yelled the killing curse twice before remembering I was already dead. He let out a yowl in frustration before sighing and demanding for everyone to leave. Aw, looks like the poor wee baby Voldy can't take a joke. Ah well, tough for him because there's so much more coming it way.


End file.
